Zippers, Reunions, and Missin' Husbands...

So Roy and I went to this reunion. The kind where you meet and greet classmates and old friends and their spouses.
An unorganized gatherin' of people.
Roy hates these sorta things.
He was not a social person in high school and was not tickled by going with me.
Me on the other hand....am a social butterfly!!
I love school.
It was a lot like my PC....that's where all my friends were!

Once we got to the reunion I lost track of him....it's not like we're joined at the hip or anything.

We've been sayin' that a lot lately.
He said it first.... which I was totally shocked that HE said it....becuz we do everything together.
He's my best friend.

But as I mingled around the room laughin' and havin' a good time, I lost track of him. I figured he was chattin' it up with some big boob gal in the corner. So he was happy.
As I was talkin' to an old friend, a young woman came up that she knew...the younger woman looked familiar but I couldn't quite place her.
They were talkin' about body piercin's and the younger woman had a "zipper" put in.
Now you know I'm no prude.
And I've been around the block a time or two.
But I had no idea what a "zipper" would be....I had to see it!

Everyone blushed.
OH God What Have I Gotten My Self Into Now??!!??
This can't be good.
But in the spirit of the moment and a few Rum and Cokes, I'm game for just about anything.
So this young woman took me aside and started to undress.
I'm startin' to panic!!
Oh Holy Shit!! Where is this "zipper"?

She pulled down her pants and showed me her "Business" area!!
Pulled back a bandage to show me her clit!!
It had a small dangly angel hangin' from it like a pull chain on a kid's coat!!!!
It was just swingin'!!

All I could think was "Where the Hell is Roy?"

And then I woke up.

The young woman is the person that cuts the fabric at MaterialStore....she's very friendly. But I don't really think she'd show me her "business".
I have no clue why I would refer to a clit piercin' as a zipper.

Hormonal influx=Bizarre dreams.

Dear MizAngie,

I received a letter today from the OldFolks. They've been to a flower show, worked in the neighbor's yard, she got her hair fixed and she bought him new shirts for church.
Good Times!!

And you will not believe what the HappyBaby said to me today, "I love you, you're so silly."
Isn't that the sweetest thing ever!!!
Even after I told her not to pee in the pool or put gum on my deck again!!

And now me and Roy are puttin' up corn.

Really just good times all around.

Gotta go water my zinnias in Farmville on Facebook.

Sincerely from One sarastic bitch!!
Love and Hugs,
Nadine


PS: Sometimes I just sit here with my blog open adoring it becuz it's just so pretty I just can't bear to leave it....becuz you know it's all about me.

NH ;}

It's an inside joke.....you have to be there.

I Added A Couple More Bags...

Check Them Out!!

mznadine.etsy.com




My sister called this am, upset. Grandpa wanted something the doctor told him he couldn't have!!
He has a breathin' problem and over the years, he's been usin' an inhaler....at will. He was over medicatin' himself!
Well now he thinks he's dyin'!!!
Becuz he doctor....a lung specialist took off all the inhalers!!!
RubyJune is stressed! Tryin' to do the right thing in keepin' that cranky old man alive.
Granny is stressed! Becuz of all the bitchin' that Grandpa does....he's not a nice man. He's a bully of the worst kind!
And of course he's stressed.

The only person that I'm concerned about is Granny....and well, RubyJune.
So what do you do?
Let the cranky fart have his way only to further damage his lungs just to keep him quiet??
Or for RubyJune to hold her ground and not give into his demands??

I'm glad I live as far away from it all as I do!!

3 Things I Don't Get About My Grandpa...

1) When did it become OKAY to see you're Grandpa's nekked ass?

Roy said, "When they turn 80."
I totally disagree and I still have not seen it.
But nurses thought I should be the one to help him use the bedpan.
What part of "I'm Not Paid To Do That" do you not understand???

2)Why do old men have to make themselves more important than they really are???
My grandpa thinks he was the one to have my uncle taken off life support.
He wasn't even at the hospital!!!!!

3)Why do old men think they know what's best for themselves despite what the doctors say???
He thought he needed more breathin' treatments than they did, that he was gonna die if he didn't, though he was in the hospital in the first place so that they could save his cranky ass!!!


And I got in my car and went home....he drives me crazy!!!

By the way, he went home yesterday after 14 days.
And honestly, I think they sent him home just to get him outta their hair!!!

You Tell Me...

One of my neighbors caught me as I was walkin' into the gym, and she said, "I don't know how long you've live there, but I just now saw that you have a pool!"

She sounded mad.
Like I shouldn't have one.

The Nerve!
"I told my husband, 'They have a pool'! When did that happen?"

I wasn't sure exactly how to react but to invite her over.


Geez!
Why can't I have a pool??
I get hot too.
G'Dub gave me money. I stimulated the economy!

By the way, You are always welcome in my pool.


Always.